10 Cool Recipes to Give Your Man for #NationalMenMakeDinnerDay
Latest

“What the heck is ‘National Men Make Dinner Day’?” asks the official website of National Men Make Dinner Day, which by our best guess is a web content occasion sponsored by Proctor & Gamble’s grocery division. #NationalMenMakeDinnerDay is also proving to be excellent grounds for gender-bending, conversation-changing social media discourse, inspiring tweets such as Pizza places are going to be busy tonight! and That’s right, he cooks with his shirt off #HubbyCookedMeal.
But we’ll let National Men Make Dinner day answer their own question.
The ideal participant in ‘National Men Make Dinner Day’ is the man who:
Helps with household chores
Has a sense of humor and is a great all-around guy
loves his wife/girlfriend, kids and pets
BUT NEVER LEARNED TO COOK!
… and is somewhat afraid of the idea.
Thank Jesus someone has thought to address the needs of this incredibly underserved demographic. If you yourself have accepted such a creature into your heart as your own personal HouseLord and DickSavior—and if you’d like to help him jump one tweensy bittle notch up on Maslov’s hierarchy of needs—we have compiled some of our favorite Just-For-Men Recipes right here, for you.
(Warning: do not attempt these recipes if you identify as female, for the chef’s secret ingredient is wang.)
1. “What Women Want” Artisanal Hors D’oeuvre Sampler
Find plate that’s still out on the kitchen counter from breakfast two days ago. Search refrigerator for block of cheese (or four). Slice cheese into cubes straight through the wrapper. Scatter cheese cubes gently onto plate, garnishing with whatever else is on the counter (nuts from the airport? Tortilla scraps from a Chipotle burrito that the wife was too ~delicate~ to finish?) and serve with Strawber-Rita someone left in your refrigerator as a joke.
2. Fish Bucket
Girls love raw fish because it’s healthy! So take your Segway down to the docks and find your favorite fishwife. Purchase approximately 9 pounds of raw pickerel for every member of your household (double if counting pets). Once home, stack fish in chilled champagne bucket and place on table. No napkins: just a bucket o’ fun.
3. Cake Filled With One Million Dollars
Buy cake from local Western Beef. With a sharp, serrated bread knife, remove the middle third of cake and set aside for later. Gently wedge one million dollars (cash only) between cake thirds. Let rest 30 minutes and then serve.