A Conversation Between Kate Middleton and Melania Trump, Probably

It’s like my brain wants to think these photos are AI, but knows it’s not.

By writer  |  September 18, 2025 | 3:47pm
Photo: Getty Images EntertainmentPolitics
A Conversation Between Kate Middleton and Melania Trump, Probably

If you haven’t heard, the Trumps are across the pond for their second state visit with the royal family. While Trump rubbed shoulders with King Charles and Prince William, the girls (First Lady Melania Trump and Princess of Wales, Kate Middleton) stepped out for a little photo op marking their first joint engagement without their spouses. It’s a VERY big deal.

The outing took place at Frogmore Gardens (possibly the most British-sounding place of all time), where they hosted a nature-themed arts-and-crafts session for the Squirrel Scouts, the youngest chapter of the Scout Association, of which the Princess serves as Joint President.

Seeing the two high-profile women in a photograph together is hard to describe. It doesn’t make sense to my brain. It’s like my brain wants to think it’s AI, but knows it’s not. What could these two possibly have to talk about? They are both former models, I guess. They are both married to future kings. (Kidding, I hope.)

The women were surrounded by a bunch of 5-year-olds as well as press—all the makings of an extremely awkward interaction. What I would give to be a bee in the garden hedge of this conversation. I can only imagine it went something like this…

[Disclaimer: This is an imagined transcript]

KATE: “[Insert formal British greeting]”

MELANIA: Hello, Princess. Thank you for planning this escape. Your gardens are much nicer than ours. At the White House, our gardens only have pavement and bistro tables.

KATE: You are so funny. I’m LITCH-rally laughing out loud!

MELANIA: Ha. Ha.

KATE: I love your cargo jacket. Your fashion choices are always so bold. You’re so brave!

MELANIA: Thank you. I like your slim build.

Am I entering psychosis? Maybe. But let’s keep going.

KATE: For this activity, we will be pressing leaves into ink to leave impressions—

MELANIA: I wish you would let me wear my hat. If the cameras photograph my real eye color, they will know I was replaced with a body double in 2019.

KATE: Mel, you know it’s against the rules to wear a hat if the princess isn’t wearing one. Don’t you remember the rules???

MELANIA: Of course, Princess… I forgot. In America, we ignore the rules we don’t want to follow.

KATE: Did you do crafts much with Barron when he was a wee lad?

MELANIA: Who?

Awkward silence.

MELANIA: Your dress was very beautiful last night.

KATE: Thank you… Your dress was very… yellow.

Another awkward silence.

MELANIA: The journalists are looking at us.

KATE: [SMILING REALLY BIG] We are now engaging in polite conversation.

MELANIA: [ATTEMPTING TO SMILE] Yes, polite conversation.

KATE: [Unintelligible British person talk]

MELANIA: Ha ha ha.

OK, I’ll stop before I fully spiral. But the point is, I can’t imagine a conversation between these two women that would possibly make sense. So what was the point of all this? State visit B-roll? Are they trapped? Are they shading Queen Camilla? Or do they just need some fresh air?

The jaunt in the gardens followed the lavish state dinner Wednesday night, a very high-society party featuring billionaires like Tim Cook and Sam Altman. Think The Gilded Age: Season 298. Unrelated, but I have to imagine Trump was getting major ballroom jealousy. Luckily, all hard feelings were soothed by the massive plate of pasta he was later spotted scarfing down beside the King.

Perhaps the garden party was a bit of PR damage control. After all, following Trump’s arrival on Tuesday night, protestors projected images of Trump with the late financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein onto Windsor Castle.

Whatever the reason for the stunt: Kate, Melania, draw a picture of a ladybug if you’re in danger.

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