Melania’s Embarrassing Letter to Putin Has Huge I-Can-Fix-Him Energy

The bizarre I can-fix-him vibes get more embarrassing. “In today’s world, some children are forced to carry a quiet laughter, untouched by the darkness around them–a silent defiance against the forces that can potentially claim their future,” she drones on. “In protecting the innocence of these children, you will do more than serve Russia alone–you serve humanity itself.”

Most awkward of all, Melania conveniently leaves out any specifics in her epitaph. She mentions “Ukraine” zero times and never spells out what she really means to address: the forced abduction of thousands of Ukrainian children.

Ever since the Kremlin first launched its invasion in 2022, it has forcibly removed countless kids from their homes, indoctrinating them with Russian schooling, citizenship, and culture. Some of them have even been put on the frontline to fight against their native country. When Putin was confronted with a list of some of these victims’ names during an online strategy meeting with his aids and ministers in June, he feigned cold, inhuman indifference. That same month, the Guardian reported that 35,000 Ukrainian children are still missing. A report from the U.N. Human Rights Office also states that at least 730,000 have been forced to flee to other areas of Ukraine, and 1.7 million are now considered refugees.

Pussyfooting was the general theme of the Trump-Putin summit, with the president going into it saying that if he did not secure a ceasefire, he would not be “happy,” promising “severe consequences.” But after three hours of peace talks (and an embarrassing array of stunts, including flaunting a military flyover), the president had nothing to show for progress. The optics session reached cruel altitudes of cringe as the president stood alongside the Russian leader in front of the press, with the latter audaciously shrugging off a question about killing civilians, feigning an I-can’t-hear-you gesture. In this battle of dimwit diplomacy, Trump lost. 

On Sunday, Jack Schlossberg donned a “cheap wig” while giving a dramatic reading with a mock-Slovenian accent, before concluding with, “What am I saying? This make no sense.” Dropping the accent, he criticizes the “confusing letter” and its “confusing message”… for a conflict that really isn’t all that confusing. Others have questioned the letter’s pseudo-eloquence, mulling whether AI or a ghostwriter was used. Political strategist Chris D. Jackson wrote on Twitter that after putting the letter through ChatGPT, the model estimated 90-100% of it was written by the technology. When I put it into my own ChatGPT, it said it was “highly likely written or enhanced by AI,” estimating odds of 70–90%. And when Jezebel editor, Lauren Tousignant, put it through hers, it said: “I can’t give you a hard, scientific percentage (no tool can do that reliably—AI detection is inherently probabilistic and prone to false positives/negatives).” Still, it went with, “75–85% likely AI-generated or AI-assisted.” Apparently, even ChatGPT seems confused by this.

Regardless of who did or did not write the letter, Trump’s hosting Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky at the White House on Monday, so expect more gutless diplomacy to come.

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