In a case of life imitating art, a woman had sex with roughly 25 men at a party after imitating the porn that played throughout the duration—she’s pregnant as of this post, not sure who the father is—and “bro code, hot girls and funny stories” destination BroBible does not think it’s funny.
What is hilarious, though, is BroBible’s interpretation of the incident, which first appeared in U.K. gossip rag (and sometimes Jezebel source) Mirror’s advice column, Dear Coleen, where Coleen simply advised the woman, for better or worse, to accept what happened, cut her losses, and move on.
BroBible, however, could not let such a thing as a woman having consensual sex with multiple people slide.
The only situation where boning 25 people at a party is acceptable is if…oh wait, there isn’t one. Even if you’re getting paid for letting over two dozen men take a peek through your roast beef curtains that’s a little excessive, unless it’s porn. Then you’re just a goddamn pro.
But, I mean: that’s just it. The woman blatantly said she was mimicking what was on TV (or the Internet, since who watches porn on TV anymore?). Which employs professionals to engage and enact in sex scenes. No?
Translation: you’re a fucking idiot. Learn to not be an idiot, continue living your life and hope that your child doesn’t grow up to be this kid who can’t stop jerking off during hockey penalties.
Translation: hockey sucks.
Coleen’s given you enough advice, you don’t need to be writing in to her again because your parenting skills as well as your common sense are both lacking.
The irony, of course, is that BroBible’s response was written by a woman, Rebecca Martinson, who, according to her BroBible profile, is “really, really, adequate at writing emails, and counts herself as an “ex sorostitute” on her Twitter profile. She also seems to write about sex quite a bit—or more specifically, the kind that she, as high priestess of BroBible, deems okay or not okay to have.
Because that’s what the Internet’s all about, folks: women helping other women. Right?
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