An Innocent Would U About 'Slim Husky Snackwich' Seth Rogen Drives the Jezebel Staff Apart

Summer approaches. Memorial Day is nigh. The horny time beckons. Everything feels dire and it’s only Thursday, so let’s get into the latest debate that nearly tore the staff of Jezebel apart: Would you sleep with Seth Rogen?

Our best Would U’s cause controversy amongst the staff, but Rogen, whose latest movie landed him on the cover of GQ looking particularly… different, caused the kind of discourse I hope for on a daily basis: raucous, perverted, and ultimately rewarding. The source of this discussion is, of course, Rogen, but it’s also this tweet from Bossip, which alerted the staff to a newfound horniness (or in some cases, revulsion) for Fozzie the Pothead.

While I don’t know if calling Rogen a “slim husky snackwich” is entirely accurate, I will concede that this transition from jovial schlub to menswear GQ zaddy is as close to a Glow Up as anyone could hope for. Generally speaking, Seth Rogen is marginally attractive; he bears an unsettling resemblance to an ex-boyfriend, and so by dint of that resemblance, I am a Would because technically, I have already a rather poor facsimile. The rest of the Jezebel staff, however, was divided. This was not unanimous, as I’d expected it to be.

“Do people really think he’s that hot?” Senior Writer Rich Juzwiak posited. “He’s merely not an eyesore.” Culture Editor Clover Hope, who is the reason for this Would U, said, “You know, I would.” Stassa Edwards, Features Editor, weighed in reluctantly. “I maybe would,” she said—tentative, but fair. It’d be great if I could say the conversation remained pleasant from here. What started off as a simple discourse turned into a rollicking journey into the heart of our deepest desires.

The Jezebel staff weighs in:

Rich Juzwiak: I had a different understanding of my coworkers before today.

Megan Reynolds: We’re all perverts, but not in a fun way.

Maria Sherman: I find him unbearable and also not hot.

Kelly Faircloth: Personally, I believe everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves.