Aquarium Creates Special Sex Rooms for Shy Penguins


The New England Aquarium has eight pairs of endangered African penguins, and they want them to make more babies. Hence, they are installing a series of “honeymoon suites,” i.e. fuck rooms, to encourage the little guys and gals.

According to the Associated Press, the aquarium will scatter “cozy plastic igloo-style homes and other private nooks off the main exhibit.” Because not everybody’s an exhibitionist, OK? Not everybody can just go to town right in front of a bunch of bored teens on a class trip. It’s a lot of pressure, trying to procreate under those kinds of conditions. Is it too much to ask for a little fuckin’ romance, maybe a coin-operated vibrating penguin-size mattress over here in these cozy private igloos? Jesus.

Photo via AP. (Different group of penguins, same species, no word whether they like to fuck in public.)

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