Cadbury Makes Special Chocolate for Women, Because Ladies Love Chocolate and Hate Being Fat
LatestIf we’ve learned anything from Cathy comics and the silly t-shirts of your office HR rep, it’s that women love chocolate. We love chocolate so much that we want to eat it with everything. We want to eat instead of everything. You know when you’re like “I’d kill for some chocolate right now,” and everyone laughs because they think you’re joking only you’re dead serious? Like you have two cravings — one for blood and one for cocoa products — and one of those cravings better be satiated pronto or you might do something crazy? Haha, of course you do! We all do! It’s a part of the universal female experience.
So, yes, women love chocolate, which should be no problemo, right? Except stop because MAJOR PROBLEMO. While we might want to hoover down chocolate every moment of every goddam day, we can’t because, while we love chocolate — like LOVE love it — we also love being skinny. It’s literally the most important part of our lives, rated above careers, family and friendship. And I hate to be the one to break this to you, but chocolate does not make you skinny.