Mercifully, Beckham refrained from sharing a video of the process as he mistakenly has in the past…but look closer at the post and you’ll almost immediately realize that the pot of sauce boasts a curious ingredient: a wine cork.
That’s right, alongside the minced beef and diced carrot rests the robust cork of the red wine Beckham appears to be pretentiously swirling in the next photo.
As in his every other public attempt at cooking, the post was immediately inundated with the kind of criticism I should really be too mature to giggle at. “Why are you cooking the cork for bro?” begged one user. “Is the cork added flavour?” inquired another.
Because this kid is a professional masochist, Beckham also took to his stories to field some questions from his followers. In case you didn’t know, his favorite color is dark green, he’s enthusiastic about Tokyo, and he really wants more dogs. In a slight reprieve from that scintillating Q&A, Beckham then addressed the inquiries about his bolognese, sharing a screenshot from what appears to be a Google search result regarding the addition of wine corks to simmering sauces: “More research ensued and we found information that the addition of wine corks added to the cooking liquid ensured a more tender dish.”
Once again, I’ll emphasize that I am not a seasoned cook, but this hot tip is news to me—and apparently, to actual chefs, too. While wine is a welcome ingredient in any bolognese sauce, a cork, as it’s since been reported, is only really used by some chefs to tenderize squid and octopus…not minced beef or pork for bolognese. Upon my own—admittedly, very light—investigation, I didn’t happen upon any evidence to support Beckham’s methodology.
Even still, Beckham asserted via his Q&A that food is “his passion.” I tend to jest, but much like a corny classroom poster, there might just be some inspiration to be taken from his relentless attempts at a career. Shoot for the moon, Becks. Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.
- Lana Del Rey is reportedly engaged to musician and talent agent Evan Winiker! Pardon my elation. I’m not a fan, I’m just still relieved she never married that cop. [Billboard]
- Tory Lanez officially filed an appeal after being found guilty in the shooting of Megan Thee Stallion; his attorneys claim his lyrics and a tattoo of a firearm unfairly influenced the ruling. [Pitchfork]
- Rachel “Raquel” Leviss dropped her restraining order against co-star Scheana Shay as the latter’s attorney maintains her client never actually punched her at all. [People]
- How curious! Selena Gomez was spotted breaking bread with rumored new beau Zayn Malik’s assistant. [Page Six]
- Only two months after announcing her departure from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Lisa Rinna has teased a reality show of her own: “I love fame.” In semi-related news: Water is wet. [Daily Mail]
- Joshua Tylerbest, a former contestant on The Bachelorette, has been arrested for possessing child sexual abuse imagery. [TMZ]
