Larry the Downing Street failed to attack a mouse who appeared at a state dinner, and today his constituents were shocked to learn that he’s reconsidered his policy on rodents. vox_rowan reports:
In a radical departure from current policy, Larry the Cat has declared a unilateral ceasefire with the mouse population of Downing Street. This move has shocked and alarmed other interests in the territory, who have waged a bloody and protracted conflict with the indigenous rodents. When asked for comment, Larry issued the following statement:
“While my original mission, Operation Glue Trap, was designed to use shock-and-awe tactics to overwhelm and eliminate the indigenous peoples of Downing Street, a recent visit by the Dalai Lama has caused me to reconsider the nature of this mission, the rights of the original occupiers, and the role of those who currently exercise power within Downing Street’s borders. His words of peace and cooperation have inspired me to break with current policy and to reach out a paw in friendship to those who have been so long persecuted and oppressed.”
Although many international groups, including Amnesty and the UN have come forward in praise of Larry’s actions, others have voiced criticism for this sudden about face. Thomas Feline of The Heritage Foundation commented, “By taking such a weak stance on security, Larry is setting a dangerous precedent and placing both the peoples of Downing Street and other official residences in danger. How can we be expected to keep the halls of the White House pest-free when Jerry and his pals think that cats have gotten soft on terrorism? Not to mention it’s a well-known fact that the Dalai Lama is particularly good at scritching behind the ears and this has probably affected Larry’s judgement in this situation.”
Representatives of the Greater Mouse and Rodent Alliance were not available for comment at the time of press, but security experts believe that Larry’s policy adjustment will not affect the GMRA’s current plans to attack an upcoming cheese and wine reception.
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