Doug the Pug Dresses as Mariah, Only Wants One Thing for Xmas (Not You)

I really wish my guinea pigs were big enough to dress up and make YouTube celebrities, because they also like nothing more than food. In fact, they can hear food being opened from anywhere in the house and will start chirping and throwing themselves against the wall to make sure that everyone understands they’re fucking starving, even if they’re eating food while they’re doing it. So Doug may have some competition soon. (Also, one time one of my guinea pigs — Andy — was so excited about eating that he miscalculated his jump off his house, hit his head against a wall and passed out for a second. Then he woke up and immediately started eating again. True story.)