If you’re having trouble with the ladies, one great thing to do is to produce a gigantic musical whine-a-thon with high production values, thoughtful staging, and mildly amusing stunt casting, and then wait for it to go viral. Then all the women on earth will know that you’re the kind of stand-up gentleman who thinks he “deserves” a “hot chick” and assumes that all women who reject him are shallow bitches! Because you’re not shallow at all—only hitting on perfect 10s at Toast (instead of the bajillions of regular people who live in L.A.) because girls from the Valley are too fat and Persian girls are too hairy. Throw in some jokes about aggressively getting her drunk so you can access her thigh-meat, and it’s next stop PUSSYVILLE USA. POPULATION: THIS GUY.
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