FBI Agents Search Trump Lawyer's Room at, Just FYI, the Same Hotel Where Tom D'Agostino Cheated on Luann de Lesseps Before Their Engagement Party 

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• FBI agents raided the office and hotel room of Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen today after federal prosecutors in Manhattan received a referral from Robert Mueller. It’s unclear exactly what the investigation involves, but they seized records related to previously reported payments to Stormy Daniels. It’s very important to note that the hotel in question—the Loews Regency, or “The Regency,” as it is frequently referred to on Bravo—is the very same hotel at which Tom D’Agostino (not of the grocery D’Agostinos) cheated on Real Housewives of New York’s Luann de Lesseps the night before their engagement party. If walls could talk, folks! [New York Times, My Sick Brain]
• It’s John Bolton’s first day, and he and his mustache are ready to fuck shit up. [New York Times]
• …just in time for Trump’s latest threat to Syrian president Bashar Al Assad; he is hyping a decision he’ll make over the next 24 to 48 hours on the administration’s response to the Syrian government’s latest chemical attack on civilians. [New York Times]
• Zuckerberg apologizes. [Washington Post]
• Sen. Tammy Duckworth just gave birth to a baby girl. [CNN]

Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.