Gifts For Your Friend Who Has Way Too Many Goddamn Plants

My New York City apartment is currently home to approximately 50 plants, a prospect I couldn’t have fathomed when a friend of mine took me to my first plant store back in 2016. It was a slow start, resulting in far more dead plants than living thanks to a complete misunderstanding of how to take care of them beyond “water” and “sun.” After all, it takes time to learn how much water an Alocasia needs, how much sun a Jade Plant needs, and that you can’t just put a plant where you think it looks good in your home.

This isn’t to say that plant obsessives gradually become infallible plant experts. Sure, you get better at it: you learn that some succulents get scorched in your sunny south-facing window, you learn that watering on a schedule can do more harm for your plants than good, you eventually learn that mosquito bits get rid of a fungus gnat infestation better than neem oil ever could (and if you didn’t know that already, you’re welcome). You buy some plant clippers (I like these), a trusty watering can, and those little velcro plant ties to help stop your monstera from flopping under its own weight. But the passage of time doesn’t guarantee zero fuck-ups. Just last week, I flubbed my weeks-long progress on propagating a spider plant, and daily I’m dolefully eyeing a rhaphidophora tetrasperma (a mini monstera) that just doesn’t seem interested in growing. But the struggles are part of the adventure and the fun of plants; every day brings a new discovery that teaches you how to fuck up a little bit less in the future.

So whether you or someone in your life is a bit too emotionally invested in their plant collection, what better time to satisfy that obsession than when plants need more TLC than ever: wintertime. From humidifiers to planters that just look really damn good, here are some gifts that every plant parent would love to receive for the holidays.

While I have a large cactus, a pretty substantial jade plant, and a couple of sizable aloes, a lot of my succulents are pretty tiny. Instead of keeping them all in a bunch of different pots, why not group them together in a cute little arrangement? With this in mind, I’m so intrigued by the Squiggle Planter for Succulent Arrangement ($30) sold by ObjectLover over at Etsy. I already have one of their larger planters, but I’ve got my eye on this one next. The layout is as eye-catching as the color options, and it has drainage! Plus, you’re helping out a queer/trans-owned business.

Whether for convenience or pure aesthetics—or, ideally, both—you can’t go wrong with a solid plant stand. This Rattan Plant Stand ($150, pictured) from Urban Outfitters has been one of the most consistently well-reviewed pieces of home decor on their site for well over a year now, and it’s easy to see why: The rattan look remains popular, the stand holds three plants, and it folds up for easy stowaway. A bit of a splurge, yes, but it’s an eye-catching and practical addition for those who have a lot of horizontalf space to work with. For a more minimalist look (and a smaller price tag), the Iron Plant Stand (starting at $35) from Terrain is another great option. Its slender silhouette is also ideal for those of you trying to fit plants in narrower spaces who don’t want them to take up too much floor space.

Fellow plant lover and Jezebel reporter Caitlin Cruz wears by this expertly crafted soil-free potting mix called The Chonk, even if the name is a little silly.

“It’s a blend of wood bark, pumice, and peat to help keep your plants draining well and reduce water retention that can lead to root rot,” Caitlin said. “House plant maintenance is all about keeping your plants’ water levels at the right level for that species. The mixture helps facilitate drainage while the pumice part will give the weight for the roots normally made by heavy soil.”

It’s definitely pricier than most soil, but it’s worth trying if you’re feeling indifferent about what you’re using currently.

Honestly, most of my smaller plants have been propagating in little mezcal bottles, which... works, but it isn’t always the most organized-looking approach. Luckily, for the plant parent who is tired of finding random jars, there are a ton of propagation setups on the market. You want to make sure you get one that isn’t too tapered at the top, however, or else the roots can break off when the plant is finally moved to its new medium. The Glass Propagation Vase With Vertical Wooden Stand (starting at $22, left) from Sage and Sill is a very solid option. It looks tidy and sturdy, and while the glass vessel does taper a bit, it’s not too bad, and the bulbous bottom gives the roots ample room to grow. If you’re willing to spend a little more money, consider this Multi-Tube Propagation Kit ($45, right) from Bloomscape. It comes in a cute terrazzo holder and takes up very little space; plus, the glass tube doesn’t taper, which means you’ll likely be able to remove your plant with ease.

Were planters always as ubiquitous as they are now, or is this a result of the houseplant boom? Either way, you can find a cute planter damn near anywhere now (even at H&M!), but here are a few solid options. Believe it or not, West Elm sells plenty of planters that won’t break the bank, including the very simple Cyn Planter (starting at $25) which comes in a ton of colors, and the Sketchbook Indoor/Outdoor Planters ($31), which I’ve owned (in yellow!) for years and can absolutely vouch for. The Kaya 2-Piece Ceramic Bowl Planter by Justina Blakeney ($69, pictured) has been on my own list for ages and comes in a variety of bold colors. If the industrial look is more your speed, the TORTUGA Platform Planter ($60) is made of concrete and comes in a couple different colors. And there are some great Etsy options as well: SunnysShopLA sells these Short Ceramic Plant Pots with Saucer ($27), which are perfect for plants with shallow roots like succulents (though they sell a tall version as well for $52); if you want a more whimsical, these little planters ($54) from SunSprinklesShop offer a lot of texture and pastel to your indoor garden; and words cannot describe how cool this Japanese “PAGODA” Planter ($25.60) from MorseStudio is.

Larger planters aren’t cheap, but they’re the only way to go for anyone who is looking into larger plants, like a bird of paradise, bamboo palm, or a massive monstera that is growing out of control. This one I can vouch for: The Mid-Century Turned Wood Leg Planter ($126) from West Elm. I’ve owned the white and gold one for years and it is sturdy, easy to clean, and looks really striking in a living room or bedroom, ideal for a large investment plant.