Give This Old Ass Bird a Break


Wisdom is a Laysan albatross and at least 68 years old, which makes her the oldest known bird in the world and also probably one of the most tired. According to the U.S Fish and Wildlife Service, Wisdom spends 90 percent of her year flying over the ocean but has returned to the place she was born to breed for the winter and has laid an egg. Reader, it is her 40th egg.

This old broad is literally poppin’ em out like no one else can, per the USFWS:

Wisdom and her mate Akeakamai return to the same nest site on Midway Atoll each year. Albatross often take time off to rest between egg-laying years, but the pair have met on Midway to lay and hatch an egg every year since 2006.

I say she needs a break! Forty eggs are too many eggs, especially at her old age. Science is indebted to her, for her remarkable ability to keep the fuck going, no matter what life throws her way; NPR reports that Wisdom has “transformed scientists’ understanding of albatross lifespans and the age limits on avian reproduction.”

Man, women hold up the world, amirite? According to the USFWS, she was named Wisdom because scientists knew she was “ancient and magnificent,” but I think they should have just called the Greatest Living Bird of All Time.

An additional fun fact: NPR states that Wisdom is “brooding,” which made me wonder if she is sad or just getting ready to hatch another egg (or both—has anyone asked her?) It turns out, the word “brooding” as in moping around came after the word “brood” referred to someone’s offspring, which eventually begat “brooding” as a way to describe giving birth to said offspring. Just another example of women (chickens) contributions to the world.

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