Glastonbury 2022: Terrific Tulle, Terrible Tights, and the Queen? Really?

Over the weekend, some of music’s biggest stars took the stage at the U.K.’s Glastonbury Festival. There were a few notable no-shows—Doja Cat had to pull out, citing emergency tonsil surgery, and despite rumors that he might make an appearance during Billie Eilish’s set, a surprise cameo from Harry Styles also never materialized.

Still, the festival wasn’t lacking in star power. Two performers made Glasto history—20-year-old Eilish as the youngest ever headliner, and 80-year-old Paul McCartney as the oldest. Other notable performers included Diana Ross, Megan Thee Stallion, Kendrick Lamar, and Wet Leg, who scored one of the festival’s biggest moments by leading the crowd in one massive primal scream.

Artists also used their time onstage to condemn the Supreme Court’s Dobbs decision, with Lily Allen joining Olivia Rodrigo to dedicate a duet of Allen’s “Fuck You” to the justices who voted to overturn Roe, and Megan The Stallion leading a chant of, “My body, my motherfucking choice.”

On top of all of that, there were also plenty of killer looks—from 1980s bridesmaid corpse to Xena: Warrior chic—so let’s dive in.

With those photos of David Bowie and Sharon Tate, Billie Eilish’s shirt really reminds me of the first laptop I got when I was a kid, which I promptly covered with every vintage-looking sticker I could get my hands on.

Aside from their shared status as Glastonbury record-holders, Billie Eilish and Paul McCartney also seemingly share a tendency to pick a look that works for them and stick to it. It’s a good approach! (Though of course, Sir Paul could always have an image revamp up his sleeve.)

Diana Ross was shimmering, shiny perfection, right down to those sparkly shoes. Also, there is truly no such thing as too much tulle. Also, that feather headdress? Bob Mackie would surely approve.

Xena: Warrior Princess who?

Love the furry shrug, love the Rhythm Nation-worthy cap. And that is one fantastic ‘90s lip. The shades make me feel like I’m about to see Beowulf in 3D but as part of the full package, I think it works!

The problem with colored tights is that the hue is inevitably muted at the top as they stretch, creating a full-leg ombre look with the brightest color concentrated at the ankles. Someone, please, do something about this crisis.

The kids can bring back purple and black plaid all they want, but I don’t have to like it. Arm warmers, however, are a permanent yes.

Looking to zhoosh up a simple black suit? A spangly dickie just might be the way to go. Also, is that one of the world’s more adorable tiny bow ties? Yes, yes it is.

Róisín brought out the corpses of five 1980s bridesmaids’ dresses onstage, and it was great.

What if the Pink Ladies joined the Rockford Peaches? Hollywood, you can have that reboot idea for free.

A practical look for the monarch on the go. Maybe this is why she had to miss a couple of Jubilee events—so many concerts, so little time.