​Goddammit I Hate Myself For Laughing at This "Dancing" Turtle

This video will not Shock You. It is not the Greatest Most Epic Thing Ever. It’s a video of a turtle supposedly twerking to Jason Derulo’s “Wiggle” (of course). And it’s vertical. Still, I laughed at it (out loud) even though I know I shouldn’t have, and now I’m sharing it with you because I am the worst sort of person.

Also, I don’t think I’ve ever heard “Wiggle” all the way through—so it took me a moment to recover from the lyrics, “Patty cake, patty cake, with no hands.” :/

But if I had to be honest with myself, that turtle can really shake ’em down.