Via Glamour, we learn that Gwyneth Paltrow has confessed her greatest culinary mishap (so she says; this may be a false flag covering the tracks of an apocryphal formal gala dinner she once threw for 400 people who were all allergic to vegan and died) to Rachael Ray. The story is simple and harrowing: she made a meal and everyone barfed it up.
The meal was not one of the classic American recipes featured in the most recent GOOP newsletter: “sex bark,” “beauty milk,” “spirit truffle,” or “elevating adaptogenic latte” featuring “mucuna” and “ashwagandha” just like the Junior League in Charleston likes to do it. Nay, Gwyneth’s Dinner Party 2: Barfing Boogaloo featured a legendary New Age aphrodisiac: eggplant parmigiano. Take it away, Gwyneth:
I didn’t know that when you cook eggplant, you first have to sweat it to get all the bitter juice out, and I didn’t realize that you also have to bread eggplant parmesan and fry it before. So I put slices of raw eggplant with jarred tomato sauce and mozzarella! And everyone threw up.
You have to sweat the eggplant, Gwyneth. Sweat it or forget it, babe: even the best eggplant never set a woman free.
Further details about this barf story are yet to emerge. I, for one, would love to know what everyone barfed on, or in. An infrared sauna? Inquiring minds lie in wait.
Image via Warner Bros.