Hands Off My Antidepressants, You Sadists
Following the Highland Park shooting earlier this month, the right’s moral panic has found a renewed target in SSRIs.
Politics

My certification as an emotional Pisces Sad Girl type has often been the subject of light mockery amongst friends, for good reason. The longest and most successful relationship I’ve ever been in is with my own despair.
Getting through the day, for me, is a lot like tip-toeing across a minefield, only to trip over an anthill, faceplant into several explosives, and then return to standing still very much on fire, croaking, “No worries!!!” with a toothy smile. I can suddenly become despondent over the thought of cows sentenced to die in service of global carnivorous consumption, or endure panic attacks set off by fully imagined conversations my nemeses may or may not be having about me. Some might call me crazy—I prefer “addled by the intergenerational trauma of a family of Holocaust survivors who thinks everyone is out to get her for good fucking reason.” Add a dash of total governmental failure in a health crisis, and you’ve got yourself one easy diagnosis: chronic anxiety and depression. A girl destined to dissociate, if you will.
At the instruction of a licensed psychiatrist, I clocked my first Zoloft prescription at the CVS down the street from my apartment in 2021. As it turns out, being medicated wasn’t a form of personality sedation, nor did it turn me into a whispered echo of a lost self. Being medicated saved my life.
Despite recent arguments that the side effects of antidepressants outweigh the benefits—many psychiatrists caution the possibility of decreased libido and the potential for heightened suicidal ideation, and for some, that is certainly true—SSRIs, or “selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors,” are a lifeboat for people like me: those forever haunted by the ghosts of lives stolen by state-sponsored propagandists and by senseless gun violence.
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