Hannah's 24-Hour Product Diary: Smoke and Mirrors
LatestPREAMBLE
I’ve realized in the course of writing this that many of the beauty dictums I consider strenuously vetted in fact constitute a set of misremembered or totally fabricated beliefs I don’t want to bother correcting. And what’s more ravishing than self-delusion?
Note I am not talking about drinking plenty of water, which evidently helps, nor do I blindly accept that one hundred different mascaras will suit your lashes in one hundred different ways. I mean that I am spiritually certain brushing your teeth twice a day is a sham but I can’t say how the germ of this idea took hold. I mean I think sleeping with my makeup on helps form a protective shield around my epidermis so that no harm may befall it while I dream. (Define “free radical,” I can’t.) I mean isn’t it the case that hot and cold water are both better for your hair in different ways? It all depends on the weather anyway. To tame curls, allow them to dry excruciatingly slow within the carapace of your softest turtleneck sweater.
Sometimes reality creeps in, usually when people intervene on my behalf, and I’ve been lucky like that. My greatest beauty lessons are those I’ve learned from my friends and colleagues, especially over the last couple years I’ve worked at Jezebel and have been reading beauty writing consistently for the first time since high school, piquing my interest. Actually, the first lesson I came up with on my own, and that was to stop eating entire pieces of cheese. It’s done wonders to clear up my skin.
I do the elliptical. Ask anyone I know. But I have not done another spin class.
Second: at a party last summer where Jezebel staff were present an extremely kind coworker asked me which daily sunscreen I used and her impassioned bewilderment at my wordless reply was enough to let me know it was time to buy a new tube of something. I went with Supergoop Everyday Sunscreen and now I apply a bit of it every morning. I like the way it smells; I hope it smells like me.
Third: Around this time I attended a spin class with my friend Ava and realized I should start working out on a regular basis. And I do! It helps with mood, with skin, with health—I do the elliptical. Ask anyone I know. But I have not done another spin class.
Fourth: On the subway six months to a year ago my friend Tony told me there’s something called a “moisture barrier” and I made fun of him the entire ride for getting his information so spastically wrong, but when I got home and looked up “moisture barrier” I saw it’s all true. I consolidated my moisture barrier.
Nina taught me about hyaluronic acid and this, I’m telling you, is the heaven of acids.
I am always ecstatic when I make a new friend who is not a writer. About eight months ago I met Nina who is so much more than not-a-writer: she’s funny, and warm, and in the skincare industry. Nina has taught me in a manner that I’m sure appears casual and offhand to her but which I experience in a state of rapturous attention, where trapdoors to alternate realities spring open at the mention of each new glycerin, to understand something about this mysterious boundary between my brain and the ambient computer screen. Nina taught me about hyaluronic acid and this, I’m telling you, is the heaven of acids. For dry skin I have so far found nothing better. By the way, it took me until my mid-twenties to figure out I had dry facial skin, and then another several months to make the connection that this probably meant my scalp also tended on the dry side, after all, they are contiguous and of the same head, which fortunately still has the capacity to be amazed and placated.
MORNING
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Another Boat Carrying Life-Saving Aid for Starving Palestinians Was Intercepted by Israel By Audra Heinrichs July 28, 2025 | 3:40pm
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AFP Says Its Journalists in Gaza Are Starving to Death By Nora Biette-Timmons July 22, 2025 | 2:47pm
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How Swedish Soccer Fans Are Changing the Face of Hooliganism By Danielle Han July 15, 2025 | 7:51pm
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Karen Read Found Not Guilty in Nail-Biting Verdict By Audra Heinrichs June 18, 2025 | 4:26pm
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Key Trump Court Nominees Claimed Abortion Pills 'Starve Babies to Death' By Kylie Cheung May 29, 2025 | 12:08pm
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Texas Came Way Too Close to Passing Bill Making It Harder to Challenge Anti-Abortion Laws in Court By Kylie Cheung May 27, 2025 | 11:55am
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Kristi Noem Is Blocking International Students from Harvard, Accuses School of Being ‘Chinese Communist Party’ By Kylie Cheung May 23, 2025 | 1:15pm
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Nancy Mace Maintains Rape, Exploitation Allegations While Sharing Nude Photo of Herself By Kylie Cheung May 21, 2025 | 12:58pm
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I Hate That Megan Thee Stallion Has to Address Tory Lanez's Lies... *Again* By Kylie Cheung May 20, 2025 | 3:15pm
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