Here Is Tom Hanks Jumping Off a Boat on His Birthday

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Here Is Tom Hanks Jumping Off a Boat on His Birthday
Image: (via Getty)

For the last few years, I have been convinced Tom Hanks is an unrepentant sociopath. I have come to this conclusion based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever, save for an unpleasant few hours I spent watching The Terminal, and every single person to whom I’ve mentioned my dislike for Tom Hanks has told me that I’m out of my goddamn mind. This is probably true.

That disclaimer aside, today is Hanks’s 63rd birthday. He celebrated accordingly:

Indeed, it appears Hanks got a snazzy new beach outfit for his birthday, which he inaugurated by dunking in the ocean. Buzzfeed speculates the boat in the above tweet is a yacht—it is important to note that Hanks has previously denied owning a yacht, so this clip supports my unyielding hypothesis that Hanks is NOT TO BE TRUSTED.

(I am aware that his very rich and famous friends probably own yachts, but I will not back down.)

Hanks’s son, Colin Hanks, celebrated Hanks’s birthday by posting a picture of Michael Keaton, which SOME people might think is a cute joke, but I am convinced is proof that the entire Hanks family is slowly trying to chip away at our collective truths and hardheld beliefs in order to distract us with madness while they rise to absolute power.

Anyway, happy birthday to movie star Tom Hanks, who is allegedly a very nice man and not someone who tortures bunnies in his free time, even though I am steadfastly convinced by the latter. [Twitter]

Nicki Minaj was supposed to perform next week at the Jeddah World Fest in Saudi Arabia, a nation that, as nonprofit group the Human Rights Foundation pointed out soon after her performance was announced, has a pretty terrible and even murderous record when it comes to women’s and LGBTQ rights. So, Minaj is pulling out.

The rapper released the following statement on Tuesday:

After careful reflection I have decided to no longer move forward with my scheduled concert at Jeddah World Fest. While I want nothing more than to bring my show to fans in Saudi Arabia, after better educating myself on the issues, I believe it is important for me to make clear my support for the rights of women, the LGBTQ community and freedom of expression.

Other headliners at the Jeddah World Fest, which takes place on July 18, include ex-One Directoner Liam Payne and DJ Steve Aoki. No word yet on a replacement for Minaj, or whether other headliners will follow her example. [The Wrap]

  • Lady Gaga’s Haus Labs beauty line will debut in September. [Page Six]
  • Barbra Streisand’s dogs flew to London to watch her perform, which I’m sure was super fun for them. Dogs love planes and loud concerts! [Page Six]
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