Here's the Darkest, Most Depressing Thing You'll See All Week

Here's the Darkest, Most Depressing Thing You'll See All Week

Amazon, rather than allowing its employees to take bathroom breaks or form a union, has found a new solution to its overwhelming number of workplace crises: A depression closet!

On Twitter, the evil mega-corporation shared their new solution to worker’s harrowing mental health issues, which have made national news for years. It’s called “Amazen,” and is a teeny little closet on the factory floor, filled with plastic plants and a computer that reads inspirational quotes to the employees in distress.

I bet it works just fine. Of her creation, employee Leila Brown from Tampa, Florida said: “I wanted to provide a place that’s quiet that people could go and focus on their mental and emotional well-being.” This is surely just as nice as Jeff Bezos’s $500 million yacht.

As someone who is certifiably mentally ill in ways that Amazon would immediately send me to the depression closet for, I can guarantee this closet would not heal my troubled soul. It might actually make my mania worse, or at the very least, be a quiet place to smoke weed and pop molly, which is how I usually dealt with the factory worker blues before I landed this job at Jezebel.

Most ominously, the above video ends with a terrifying shot of an endless row of forklifts, awaiting each and every employee lucky enough to be sent to the depression closet for re-programming. The work never stops!

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