Hey Vanderbilt: It's Easy to Think of a Motto That Doesn't Invoke Rape


Vanderbilt University’s football team has been in PR crisis mode after two of its former players were found guilty of aggravated rape and aggravated sexual battery, a crime that the players blamed on a “college culture of binge drinking.” So, when the team tweeted out its new motto for this season, it was especially dumb.

I am honestly confused how brands fuck up so consistently and terribly. It is harder to think of a motto that is so blatantly offensive and rape-y like “We don’t need your permission!” than it is to think of one that is just sporty and fun.

Here are a few they could have opted for:

  • We are the best at football!
  • Cheer loudly because we are your friends!
  • Watch our college’s Southern gentleman run up and down the field!
  • We <3 tradition!
  • We are used to winning at things and like it!
  • Go, go, go!
  • We train hard and are more physically fit than other teams!
  • Violence is for the football field, not the bedroom!
  • College is for consensual experimentation!

Shortly after posting the motto and receiving swift internet vitriol, the team took it down and issued an apology:

Oh, by the way, those convicted players were later released due to a mistrial. Their next trial has been scheduled for November 30.

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