How Much Ketchup Is Enough Ketchup to Kill You?
LatestIt’s a normal part of human life to wonder about whether or not eating an excess of condiments could be lethal—specifically about the amount of ketchup it would take to not only disfigure you but take you to the big tomato patch in the sky. Well, your nightly wondering is over, and we’ve got an answer.
Earlier this week, a video of two women fighting began making the rounds on social media. The fight is routine at first, but quickly turns very ketchuppy. While the video reminds us that we should (as Death and Taxes points out) make our fights as novel as possible to ensure their success on YouTube, it also raises the question of whether ketchup could be considered a lethal weapon. Or at least it did for me.
When I brought this up at work, Kate Dries, Jezebel’s resident ketchup militant, began condemning the amount of ketchup used in this fight as a “waste of product.” Knowing that Kate is a champion of efficiency who is also capable of murder, my mission became clear: to discover how much ketchup would be too much ketchup.
My first cry for help was to the Heinz Ketchup empire. While it’s not clear that the unnamed restaurant in the video provides name-brand ketchup for its customers’ needs, many dining establishments pride themselves on carrying Heinz condiments (even if some places do just keep refilling the containers with generic), so this brand was the obvious choice. When Heinz did not respond to my initial request for information—what is big ketchup hiding???—I called the company’s American headquarters directly to get some answers.
After being on hold for less than thirty seconds, my query was picked up by Kierra, who had a hard time with my pointed questions about ketchup’s toxicity and potential lethality. And, she said, she hadn’t even seen the video.
“You’re asking if there’s a lethal dose of Heinz ketchup,” she asked.
“How much ketchup would it take to kill a person?”
“That… is a… great question,” she said. “Unfortunately, I don’t have that information.”
“Has that ever happened?”
-
Bari Weiss Got Herself Some 'Beefy' Bodyguards By Audra Heinrichs October 23, 2025 | 5:51pm
-
Which Piece of Stolen Louvre Jewelry Are You, Based on Your Zodiac Sign By Lauren Tousignant October 23, 2025 | 11:26am
-
County Coroner Who Hoarded 'Rotting Corpses' Ruins Halloween for His Community By Lauren Tousignant October 21, 2025 | 5:39pm
-
CBS Staffers 'Won't Be Punished' for Not Responding to Bari Weiss By Audra Heinrichs October 14, 2025 | 5:47pm
-
Kristi Noem Is Trying to Use Airports to Spread Propaganda By Danielle Han October 14, 2025 | 4:15pm
-
Woman Who Became Household Name for Holding Feet to the Fire Can't Handle Heat on Her Own By Audra Heinrichs October 9, 2025 | 4:27pm
-
Take Jezebel's 2025 Reader Survey By Lauren Tousignant October 7, 2025 | 8:00am
-
Weekly Reader: Stories from Across Paste Media By Lauren Tousignant October 3, 2025 | 8:03pm
-
Oh Nothing, Just the President Posting AI Videos About QAnon Conspiracy Theories By Danielle Han September 29, 2025 | 11:58am
-
Trump Admin Makes Yet Another Anti-Women, Anti-Science Move By Danielle Han September 26, 2025 | 12:19pm
-
Elon Musk's Dad Accused of Sexually Abusing Multiple Children and Stepchildren By Audra Heinrichs September 24, 2025 | 4:25pm
-
After a New Round of Epstein Files, Republicans Are Still Crying Hoax By Audra Heinrichs September 9, 2025 | 3:40pm
-
South Korean Women Sue U.S. Military for Decades-Long Role in Sex Trade By Danielle Han September 9, 2025 | 10:24am
-
Team USA Just Shook Up the Women’s Rugby World Cup By Alyssa Mercante September 3, 2025 | 12:23pm
-
Florida Removed the Pulse Memorial Rainbow Crosswalk Under the Guise of 'Safety' By Audra Heinrichs August 23, 2025 | 10:04am
-
JD Vance Had a Busy Week Getting Booed at Shake Shack & Doing Putin Propaganda By Audra Heinrichs August 21, 2025 | 4:53pm
-
Fooled Us All, Our Flannel Queen By Audra Heinrichs August 20, 2025 | 5:15pm
-
Israel Continues to Justify Killing Journalists By Claiming They're Hamas Terrorists By Audra Heinrichs August 11, 2025 | 6:32pm
-
ICE Is Working Hard to Get More of the Worst Americans to Join Its Ranks By Audra Heinrichs August 8, 2025 | 11:22am
-
Stop Betting on Dildos Being Thrown at WNBA Games, You Fucking Creeps By Alyssa Mercante August 7, 2025 | 4:04pm
-
Cool! Diddy Still Doesn't Think He Did Anything Wrong By Audra Heinrichs July 31, 2025 | 3:29pm
-
Another Boat Carrying Life-Saving Aid for Starving Palestinians Was Intercepted by Israel By Audra Heinrichs July 28, 2025 | 3:40pm
-
AFP Says Its Journalists in Gaza Are Starving to Death By Nora Biette-Timmons July 22, 2025 | 2:47pm
-
How Swedish Soccer Fans Are Changing the Face of Hooliganism By Danielle Han July 15, 2025 | 7:51pm
-
American Horror Story: Butthurt Foreigner Wants New Party After Bad Bill, Botched Epstein Claims By Audra Heinrichs July 8, 2025 | 4:18pm
-
Caitlin Clark Exposes the WNBA’s Officiating Problems...Again By Alyssa Mercante June 18, 2025 | 5:24pm
-
Karen Read Found Not Guilty in Nail-Biting Verdict By Audra Heinrichs June 18, 2025 | 4:26pm
-
Targeted Violence Disrupted 'No Kings' Rallies in Virginia, Texas, Utah, and More By Audra Heinrichs June 16, 2025 | 3:51pm
-
Justin Baldoni Threatens to Refile His Countersuit After a Judge Threw It Out By Audra Heinrichs June 10, 2025 | 11:53am
-
Key Trump Court Nominees Claimed Abortion Pills 'Starve Babies to Death' By Kylie Cheung May 29, 2025 | 12:08pm
-
Ms. Rachel Says World Leaders Should 'Be Ashamed' of Silence on Genocide, 'Anti-Palestinian Racism' By Kylie Cheung May 28, 2025 | 11:01am
-
Texas Came Way Too Close to Passing Bill Making It Harder to Challenge Anti-Abortion Laws in Court By Kylie Cheung May 27, 2025 | 11:55am
-
Kristi Noem Is Blocking International Students from Harvard, Accuses School of Being ‘Chinese Communist Party’ By Kylie Cheung May 23, 2025 | 1:15pm
-
Nancy Mace Stays Up ‘All Night’ Programming Bots on Social Media, Ex-Aide Alleges By Kylie Cheung May 22, 2025 | 3:02pm
-
Hmm! Let's See How Many Ways Knicks Fans Can Compare Wednesday Night's Game to 9/11 By Kylie Cheung May 22, 2025 | 1:28pm
-
Rep. Gerry Connolly Dies at 75, the 3rd House Democrat to Die in Office in 3 Months By Kylie Cheung May 21, 2025 | 2:37pm
-
Nancy Mace Maintains Rape, Exploitation Allegations While Sharing Nude Photo of Herself By Kylie Cheung May 21, 2025 | 12:58pm
-
I Hate That Megan Thee Stallion Has to Address Tory Lanez's Lies... *Again* By Kylie Cheung May 20, 2025 | 3:15pm
-
Trump Signed a Bipartisan Deepfake ‘Revenge Porn’ Bill, Which Claims to Offer Victims Greater Protections By Kylie Cheung May 19, 2025 | 5:47pm
-
Suspect Behind Palm Springs Fertility Clinic Bombing Was 'Anti-Natalist' Who Condemned Procreation By Kylie Cheung May 19, 2025 | 1:44pm