In a Perfect World, Courtney Love Would Judge a Talent Show Where Contestants Shoot Butterflies Out of Their Asses

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Courtney Love addressed (started) a rumor that she’ll be hosting one of the many talent shows currently choking the television airwaves like cheese cubes in the GI tract of a constipated Canadian goose:

I don’t know if it’s gonna happen or not, but they’re looking at me to judge one of these talent shows. Some people go on them and they have butterflies come out of their ass. I’m not saying I’m gonna go on and be a cunt, but I would just be myself.

To be fair, the butterfly ass-expulsion routine has been extremely hard to judge objectively ever since its introduction at the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair. Love added that she wasn’t afraid “to be honest,” and seemed quite eager to disparage Ellen‘s judging qualifications in an effort to prove how easy a judging gig would be: “If Ellen DeGeneres can be a judge, I mean, hello?” The effects of Love’s rhetorical flourish were of course diminished by Ellen’s performing talents. [Wonderland]

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