Let Lizzie McGuire Fuck, You Cowards!

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Let Lizzie McGuire Fuck, You Cowards!
Hilary Duff Image: (Getty)

When the news first broke that actress, singer, and HelloFresh ambassador Hilary Duff would be reprising her role as Lizzie McGuire for a reboot of the character’s eponymous TV show, which taught everyone (but primarily the girls and the gays) about what life was like for a teen growing up in the early aughts, everyone (but primarily the girls and the gays), lost their minds.

The show, which was set to air on Disney’s streaming service, Disney+, was purportedly going to follow the life of Lizzie all grown up and living in New York City where, according to most TV and film, all women 19-35 live.

Unfortunately, as Lizzie herself is all too aware, life doesn’t always pan out the way you hoped it would. Back in January, it was reported that Terri Minsky, the original show’s creator, and the reboot’s showrunner, had stepped down and production had been halted after filming only two episodes. “After filming two episodes, we concluded that we need to move in a different creative direction and are putting a new lens on the show,” she said at the time.

The discrepancies around “creative direction,” it would seem, largely have to deal with the fact that the struggles of a 30-year-old woman don’t fit as nicely into the PG narrative Disney was hoping for. Which is shocking considering how well things are going for women these days.

For her part, Duff took to Instagram on Saturday, making a public plea to Disney to allow the show to air on Hulu so they would more authentically be able to capture the experience of Lizzie’s life in the Big Apple. “I’d be doing a disservice to everyone by limiting the realities of a 30 year old’s journey to live under the ceiling of a PG rating.” she wrote, “It’s important to me that just as her experiences as a preteen / teenager navigating life were authentic, her next chapters are equally as real and relatable.”

If Disney listens, the reboot would be joining the Love, Simon TV show, which has also been pushed to Hulu after it was determined that the show would not be “family-friendly” enough to air on Disney+, a streaming service where you can watch a lot of men with guns killing each other, but where, apparently, the lives of women and gay people are too controversial to be shown. [New York Post]

Is Meghan Markle going to play Storm? Probably not, but given the current state of world affairs, you really don’t know what’s going to happen anymore!

Apparently, Markle has been shopping around for acting gigs now that she’s living in Canada (or LA!), and has set her sights on landing a role in a superhero blockbuster, according to the Daily Mail.

Considering she and Prince Harry are allegedly going to be living financially independent of the Crown, a role in a Marvel movie would probably set them up for quite some time. And, as all people with good taste and common sense are well aware, we are long long long long long long long overdue for a Storm origin story. Honestly, I’ve lost track of how many Wolverine movies there are because I literally could not be bothered to care, and the silence surrounding the life and legacy of Ororo Munroe is deafening!

Whether or not Markle is the person fit to fill the role is another conversation entirely, but considering she’s already done some voiceover work for Disney, Marvel Studios is only a hop, skip, and a jump away. [New York Post]

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