If you’re going to fake your own death to get out of marrying someone, here’s what you should do instead: Tell them you don’t want to get married. It’s going to be less work and less heartbreak than calling up your no longer loved one, pretending to be your father and telling her that you committed suicide. Trust me. Don’t be a jerk.
In what was possibly the worst plan to get out of getting married, Tucker Blandford (his name says it all, huh), decided to end his relationship with his long-distance sweetheart (she’s in England, he’s in Connecticut) by avoiding the difficult “It’s not you, it’s me” conversation and heading straight into dangerous “we regret to inform” territory by faking a suicide so that he’d never hear from her again. He even called her up while pretending to be his own father (“cough, cough, ahem, yes, this is Tucker’s father”) and informing Alex Lanchester, the woman he was supposed to have married last week that Tucker was no longer. He was now just a beautiful memory.
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