My Roommate Punched My Cat and Now Everything's a Mess
LatestWelcome to Friendzone, Jezebel’s column devoted to dealing with the valuable people in your life who you’re not humping. Got an issue and looking for guidance? Email [email protected].
Until recently, I lived with three close friends and my partner. I found out that the roommates had thrown a party while my partner and I were on vacation. I was upset, and I didn’t really handle the problem well. Everything got tense. Things came to a head when one of my roommates hit and threatened my cat. I never told any of my other roommates about her actions, and they have pretty much cut me out of their lives. I moved out a few months ago. I’m not interested in resuming contact with the roommate who was violent, but is it worth it for me to try and save my friendship with any of the others?
What in the fucking fuck? She hit your cat? Are you motherfucking kidding me? I hope she dies in Costco by being crushed by a 250-lb sack of kitty litter. Also I hope fire is involved, somehow, just for aesthetic effect. I mean, okay, I don’t actually want anything bad to happen to her. But I do want her to stop punching cats. Also: let’s hope she is not a secret serial killer of humans.
I don’t know if you were a complete asshole about the party. I don’t really care. What I care about is that this person abused the greatest of all animals, TEH KITTEH. I suggest you read up on animal abuse laws in your state (here’s New York to get ya started).
I don’t think you should contact these other friends. It may only serve to arouse the wrath of their chosen buddy, the Feline Fighter. Rather, I encourage you to nurture your platonic relationships with folks who have absolutely nothing to do with the trifecta with whom you once dwelt. You might even try to grow a friendship that has until recently just been a casual connection.
Also, I hate your ex-roommate. And based on her Twitter response to this question, I’m pretty sure FX’s “Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell” writer and thinker-median Janine Brito (“seriously WHAT THE FUCK & who’s ready to form a vigilante mob?”) would agree. Also, Janine commented about her own cat: “Professor Papo Meowington knows I’m a ride or die bitch.”
My best friend is also my younger sister. She’s 23 and I’m 25. She just found out that she’s pregnant and it seems like she really wants to keep the baby. She is definitely not ready for this kind of responsibility. She’s not even paying her own bills right now. She’s still paying off fines for a DUI she got last year, and she borrows money from time to time. I’ve seen her make some improvements in her lifestyle such as kicking her smoking habit completely, dropping out of the party scene, doing well at her job, working out more, and working on building up her self esteem and confidence, but she’s still too immature to take care of another human being. My cousin says I ought to let her do what she wants, but my friends say I ought to pressure her into having an abortion.
Can we just agree that nobody is allowed to pressure anybody into having or not having a baby? Is that a thing we could all get consensus on, like, right now?
No?