People magazine has unveiled its annual thing to get mad at/thing to make you feel totally justified in your taste in men: this year’s Sexiest Man Alive. The honor goes to none other than America’s Last Top Captain America, Chris Evans. He is not Jezebel’s historical pick for Top Chris (that would go to Pine, whose dissociation and not getting spit on at the Venice Film Festival this year apparently did him no favors in this very real and scientific contest), but he is definitely…a Chris. At least he’s not Pratt!
The decision was formally announced on Monday’s episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Colbert referred to Evans as an “incandescent supernova of hotness.” Spoken like a true straight guy. Evans accepted the honor in a sketch alongside Sexiest Man alum The Rock, who prompted Evans to “say something sexy.” Evans responded, “Go vote tomorrow.” That’s cute! But is it sexy? I guess in a so-not-trying-to-be-sexy sexy way, maybe?
In an extended video by People to accompany its article, Evans talks about his first crush, his affinity for being in Marvel movies, his love for his dog, and his love for love. Diet and workout haven’t been on his radar for years. He doesn’t like arguing or forms of manipulation. Being content is “the ultimate goal.” He’s happy to be at home. Woodworking is a hobby Evans wishes he had. Watching paint dry is a hobby I don’t have, it just feels like it sometimes.
He’s self-effacing in the video, which is actually kind of sexy. He says this Sexiest Man Alive title will elicit bullying from his friends. His immediate reaction to being bestowed the title is, “My mom will be so happy.” People followed up with his mom who confirmed: “I’m not surprised at all. Our family will be beside themselves.”
Here’s a fun (“fun”) quiz: Who was last year’s Sexiest Man Alive? I didn’t remember either. Shows how important this stuff is, I guess. Anyway, Chris Evans is a good sexy man like Saltines are good plain crackers. May he reign with intense staring off into space and impressive vascularity.
Get ready to have more questions unanswered: Ryan Murphy’s The Watcher has been picked up for a second season by Netflix. (So has Monster, though the focus will shift from Jeffrey Dahmer to some other monster.) [Variety]
Speaking of Ryan Murphy, he recently admitted Glee should have ended when Cory Monteith died in 2013. (Instead, it wrapped in 2015.) [New York Post]
If you like competent, full-throated covers of pop songs, you’re in luck: Kelly Clarkson’s talk show has been renewed through 2025. [E! Online]
Aaron Carter’s publicist says that before his death, “he had made amends and made peace” with his sometimes-estranged brother, Nick Carter. [Hollywood Life]
Takeoff’s funeral has been set for Friday at the State Farm Arena in Atlanta. Capacity: 21,000. [TMZ]
