Please Welcome Dad Sheeran

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Please Welcome Dad Sheeran
Screenshot:Ed Sheeran/Instagram

Ed Sheeran is a dad now. Ed Sheeran’s wife Cherry Seaborn is a mom. And Lyra Antarctica, the newborn? They’re an incredibly rich baby. Congrats to everyone!

On Instagram early this morning, Ed Sheeran posted a photo of a blanket and some itty-bitty little socks, writing: “Ello! A quick message from me as I have some personal news that I wanted to share with you… Last week, with the help of an amazing delivery team, Cherry gave birth to our beautiful and healthy daughter – Lyra Antarctica Seaborn Sheeran.”

He continues: “We are completely in love with her. Both mum and baby are doing amazing and we are on cloud nine over here. We hope that you can respect our privacy at this time. Lots of love and I’ll see you when it’s time to come back, Ed.” Personally, I hope Ed Sheeran takes all the time he needs to do anything but make new music. I think everyone could use a break.

I also like the name Antarctica, for a baby, even though names are generally off-limits. It’s an ephemeral choice, naming your child after something that is literally melting and will soon disappear forever, lost to the annals of history in a cloud of noxious fumes as the entire world burns away to ash. Good luck out there, Lyra Antarctica, and welcome to the end of the world!

Adele, if you’re reading this, I suggest going into hiding until Chet Hank’s infatuation with you blows over. He is a threat to what little peace and stability any of us have left. He is a true, bonafide chaos merchant, designed in a lab by evil scientists to sow discord and strife wherever he appears.

Meghan McCain is irate over a “critical article” she believes is indicative of “why our culture is so deeply toxic for women.” Funny thing is, the article in question is a clickbait aggregation article on an SEO content farm.

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