Rehabilitate Stephen Baldwin For Just $4.21


A new website called, “The Restoration of Stephen Baldwin,” claims that Stephen is out of work and bankrupt because he’s being persecuted for his Christianity. Luckily, he can be rehabilitated — if each of us sends him $4.21.

In the video above, Stephen “someone Stephen nor his staff have ever met” explains that despite his tour de force performances in Bio-Dome and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Stephen stopped getting work in Hollywood after he became a born-again Christian, directly leading to his “highly-publicized bankruptcy.”

You may not be aware of this but,

He has been publicly ridiculed and insulted by people who think that he has been abandoned by God. A simple search through the Internet will reveal that people not only mock Stephen, but mock God as well.

For example, the website shares these comments from the cold-hearted heathens known to frequent Internet forums:

By now you’ve surely realized that the online persecution of Stephen closely resembles that of Job in the Bible. That story also holds the key to rehabilitating Stephen, as the website explains:

Long ago, when God restored Job he used Token Gifting as the mechanism for his restoration. The scripture says “everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house…each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring” Job 42:10-11 “All Who Know Him” each gave a token gift which resulted in the restoration of Job.
This same simple mechanism is the vision behind this movement. As the Body of Christ, we are the greatest force on earth. What if 10% of the 159 million Christians in America gave a Token Gift? What if 10% of the worlds 2 billion Christians gave a token gift? What would the media have to say about such an event?

Yes, what would the mainstream media say if 10% of the world’s Christians donated $84.2 million to Stephen Baldwin? (Assuming they each gave the suggested “Token Gift” amount of $4.21 — a reference to the Biblical verse, not the price of a dirty liberal’s latte.)

If you’re still afraid to embrace Stephen Baldwin with all you heart (and more importantly your wallet), be not afraid; While the money will go to Stephen, be assured that “all the glory will go to God.”

Wondering why his rich family members won’t help him out? According to the Q & A:

His family does not perceive Stephen’s predicament as a matter of spiritual warfare. They see Stephen’s outspoken Christianity as poor choices therefore they will not help.

You may also be want to know why he needs so much money to spread the word of Jesus Christ. Of course, Hollywood is to blame:

Stephen’s influence is in Hollywood. Hollywood worships money and without it you are seen as a loser and cannot be an effective influence to this group… From what I read in public court documents Stephen needs several million dollars to pay all of his creditors but he deserves hundreds of millions for his Job like faithfulness in the face of relentless loss and persecution.

Ladies, let’s band together and “be part of a historic movement of God that will literally rock the nation.” Once we’ve rehabilitated Stephen Baldwin, we could send Lindsay Lohan to rehab (or at least buy her some real pants instead of leggings). Why not give Kate Gosselin some cash so she won’t have to keep appearing on reality TV shows? Who knows what other washed-up ’80s stars we could rehabilitate, just by giving them millions and millions of dollars?

The Restoration Of Stephen Baldwin [Via Vanity Fair]
The Resotoration Of Stephen Baldwin Q & A

Earlier: Scott Baio’s Online Meltdown: A Complete Timeline

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin