Rudy Giuliani to Sweat It Out in Bankruptcy Court

As the creditors, including Hunter Biden, close in, "America's Mayor" and TIME's former Person of the Year has officially filed for bankruptcy.

Politics Rudy Giuliani
Rudy Giuliani to Sweat It Out in Bankruptcy Court

Rudy Giuliani, once hailed as “America’s Mayor,” continues his staggering, deeply funny fall from grace: On Thursday, Giuliani filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Southern District of New York. The move comes one day after a federal judge allowed two Georgia-based election workers to immediately seek the $146 million in defamation damages he owes them. Looks like the man with the world’s worst hair dye job is off to sweat it out in bankruptcy court.

The 24-page bankruptcy petition, indeed, cites the little matter of said $146 million as well as a handful of other high-dollar lawsuits against him, which include suits filed by President Biden’s son Hunter, Giuliani’s former employee Noelle Dunphy (who accuses him of withholding millions in wages, among… other things), and the voting machine companies Smartmatic and Dominion. He lists all of these parties as creditors coming to collect. He states that he has between $100 million and $500 million in liabilities compared to $1 million to $10 million in assets. I’m no economist, but sounds bad, no??

Giuliani is, predictably, already making excuses and blaming everyone but himself for his formal descent to broke boy status: “The filing should be a surprise to no one. No person could have reasonably believed that Mayor Rudy Giuliani would be able to pay such a high punitive amount,” his political advisor Ted Goodman said in a Thursday statement. “Chapter 11 will afford Mayor Giuliani the opportunity and time to pursue an appeal, while providing transparency for his finances under the supervision of the bankruptcy court, to ensure all creditors are treated equally and fairly throughout the process.” OK. Sure, I guess. At least he had the decency to offer up a prepared statement. Most broke men I encounter just wordlessly announce it once we’ve finished drinks and they realize they “forgot” their wallet.

Given… well, everything… I hope it goes without saying that Giuliani is perhaps the most deserving person in the world of a downfall this humiliating. Months before being found liable for defaming the George election workers he smeared during the 2020 election, Dunphy’s lawsuit against Giuliani accused him of horrific acts of sexual harassment and rape as well as denial of wages. Transcripts of audio recordings submitted as evidence show him telling her, “Come here, big tits. Come here, big tits. Your tits belong to me. Give them to me… I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. These are my tits.” Welp, this nasty old fart and accused sexual predator is officially bankrupt, ladies and gents!

In addition to this bankruptcy situ, TIME’s 2001 Person of the Year still faces criminal charges for trying to overturn the election in Georgia in 2020, alongside Trump and more than a dozen other co-defendants. I have to laugh!

Years after his history-making press conference in front of a Four Seasons Landscaping hardware store in Philly, Giuliani’s only continued to further debase himself. I’m looking forward to seeing some sweaty, frantic photos of him begging for spare change in bankruptcy court.

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