Ryan Lochte, Boy Genius, Announces Amazing Discoveries About Water, Acting


Olympic gold medalist and soon-to-be 30 Rock “sex idiot” Ryan Lochte has captured America’s imagination with his chiseled pecks and flaccid, chlorine addled mind. And while his time in the public eye has been characterized by such knowledge nuggets as “Getting back in shape is rough but luv it” and “The world is my club ! I’m lovin life every step of the way #Jeah! #gobigorgohome,” neither gem could prepare you for the knowledge bomb he’s about to drop. Are you ready?

Lochte is currently promoting his various products and enterprises, including his work with a charity that aims to provide access to clean drinking water for people in developing countries, a cause that the swimmer deeply, deeply values. “Water is practically a part of my life,” Lochte explained.

When asked about his stint as an actor, Lochte had the following wisdom to impart,

A lot of stuff comes into play when you’re acting. There’s like different places where you have to be, different facial expressions, hand gestures, just everything comes into play, just for like one little scene. It’s crazy.

Ryan Lochte, ladies and gentlemen.


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