Saturday Night Social: Asshole Mad at Assholes

Saturday Night Social: Asshole Mad at Assholes
Photo:Drew Angerer (Getty Images)

Assholes are wonderful—beautiful and functional. But some assholes are bad! Case in point, Donald Trump, who seems to have popped a Grand Canyon-sized fissure over how all the dried-out, fried-out, uncleaned, and unlubricated assholes over at Fox News aren’t fully falling in line with him over some recently reported asshole behavior of his.

On Thursday, The Atlantic published a report detailing past instances in which the President said some vile shit about veterans, dead soldiers, and other members of the military—truly nuts, considering how imperialismheads who love soldiers as praxis are, like, one of the only groups of people who generally seem to love and respect the President without condition?

Anyway, Trump reportedly canceled a scheduled 2018 visit to an American military cemetery in Paris because he didn’t want to get his hair wet. Besides, he allegedly added: “It’s filled with losers.” The report also claims that Trump once asked his staff not to include wounded veterans at a White House event because “nobody wants to see that.”

A lot of media outlets covered The Atlantic’s bombshell report, including the generally Trump-friendly cable TV hellmouth known as Fox News. The network’s national security correspondent, Jennifer Griffin—who, given the fact that she works for Fox News, is probably also an asshole??—was even able to confirm some of The Atlantic’s claims for herself. But now, perhaps feeling betrayed after years of loyal butthole-to-butthole solidarity, the President’s basically shitting himself over Fox News’ coverage and calling for Griffin’s firing, Deadline reports.

“Jennifer Griffin should be fired for this kind of reporting,” Trump tweeted. “Never even called us for comment.”

Personally, I hope the President marches on down to whatever gated neighborhood Fox News’ most highly paid execs are currently quarantining in to give them a piece of his mind, only for the ground beneath them to open up in a small, though powerful, earthquake—the planet swallowing them up in her mighty, miles-long gape and blessing us with one (1) single night of peace before whatever else 2020 has in store strikes next………but that’s just me!! What do you hope for the future? What do you have planned for tonight? I hope it is great and that you have a good time—one woman’s take.

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