Silvio Berlusconi Convicted of Being Criminally Gross


Silvio Berlusconi, Italy’s ex-Prime Minister whom I am legally obligated to refer to as “disgraced,” was just convicted of having sex with an underage prostitute and using his political influence to cover it up. He’s been sentenced to 7 years in prison, which sounds bad until you consider the silver lining: if such a thing existed, he’d definitely be up for a Negative Italian Stereotypes Lifetime Achievement Award.

You can read about the case here, but a warning: Berlusconi is an adept serial killer of ladyboners and after you read about what he’s been doing with his penis, you’re really going to want to take a shower. If you’re at work, you’ll just spend the rest of the day feeling a little grimy. Like you just bunga bunga’d with a greasy looking old guy.


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