Back in August, boy band Svengali and American Idol bad guy Simon Cowell debuted a new face, one with teeth so big and bright I couldn’t help but compare it to My Neighbor Totoro. Once you see it, you don’t un-see it. A few months prior, in May, Cowell told UK tabloid The Sun that he had a £2,000 “Silhouette Soft Lift” procedure by a doctor nicknamed the “Picasso of dermatology,” Dr Jean-Louis Sebagh. (Sebagh has also worked with famous, attractive people like Kylie Minogue and Cindy Crawford, which leads me to believe the world is five seconds away from everyone in Hollywood having the same face.) Cowell also said he went vegan in April to change his look, but I’m not so sure clean eating results in immobile facial features. “Soft” lift, my tuchis.