Sorry Roman Roy, Succession Is Now A Show For Giants

Sorry Roman Roy, Succession Is Now A Show For Giants
Image:Dia Dipasupil/Theo Wargo (Getty Images)

Is there a contractual obligation for season three of Succession indicating that at least 60 percent of the cast must be over six feet tall?

HBO announced Tuesday that Oscar-winning actor Adrien Brody has joined the cast of Succession’s long-awaited third season. Brody will play Josh Aaronson, a “billionaire activist investor who becomes pivotal in the battle for the ownership of Waystar Royco,” the Roy family’s media empire.

News of Brody’s addition comes just days after news broke that HBO regular Alexander Skarsgard will also join the cast of Succession. Variety reports that Skarsgard will play Lukas Mattson, “a successful, confrontational tech founder and CEO.”

Don’t get me wrong, this is exciting: Both Brody and Skarsgard are great actors and it’s about time that Succession came back. But damn, is this a show about rich assholes or dudes who should be playing basketball?

According to those weird celebrity height websites, Brody is 6’1 while Skarsgard clocks in a 6’4. Throw in Cousin Greg (Nicholas Braun, 6’7), Tom (Matthew MacFadyen, 6’4), Uncle Ewan (James Cromwell 6’7)… poor Roman Roy (Kieran Culkin, 5’6), already dwarfed by his girlfriend (Caitlin Fitzgerald, 5’10), is going to have to crane his head more than usual. Even Kendall (Jeremy Strong, an above-average height of 5’10) looks tiny compared to half of this show’s cast!

I, for one, am not complaining about the army of tall handsome men who will grace my television screen every Sunday night, but come on! Won’t someone think of Kieran?

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