Suri Cruise's Clothing Line Is Our Fearsome New Reality

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Now that Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise have been away from the Xenu madness and securely ensconced in the filthy bosom of Manhattan for some time, the 7-year-old child can go about having a totally normal childhood. Which now involves ghost-designing a fashion line that’s worth more than Reese Witherspoon’s new property/an actual human soul. You know! Kid stuff.

The daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has just inked a multi-million dollar deal and her label has reportedly been named “Suri.”
The fashion-conscious schoolgirl, who regularly tops lists of most stylish celebrity child, will launch her first collection for young girls this fall in a New York department store.
If successful, the Suri brand will be rolled out in shops across North America next year.

By next year we’ll all be wearing patent leather shoes and hair bows. [Page Six; lede image via HuffPo UK]


  • Heather Locklear’s daughter is going to be on some sitcom. [People]
  • Prince Harry, continuing his Americana Swoon Tour, sang Happy Birthday to 18-year-old Olympic swimmer Missy Franklin and she Instagrammed it for posterity. [Us Weekly]
  • Alicia Keys doesn’t want to be an American Idol judge, thanks. [People]
  • This is Ke$ha’s new look. (She’s calling it “the Paula Poundstone.”) (No she’s not.) [HuffPo]
  • The Minnillo-Lacheyby is starting to crawl. But only when you put cameras and/or money in front of it. [Us Weekly]
  • !!!! Jennifer Aniston’s stylist Chris McMillan was high when he cut her hair into “The Rachel.” [NYDN]
  • Once Upton a time, Kate Upton of the Land of Uptonia said her boobs were real. The end. [Us Weekly]
  • Farrah Abraham says that her onscreen coitus with James Deen was the only time she’s had sex in the last year. [NYDN]
  • In her Interview interview, Winona Ryder said she feels bad for Kristen Stewart and starlets of her ilk who came of age in the Internet era. [Gossip Cop]
  • To the unadulterated joy of every stoned guy I hooked up with freshman year of college, Mike Tyson is going to be on Adult Swim. [NYDN]
  • Justin Bieber had a beer and Tweeted it so that he knew it was real. [Radar Online]
  • Who wore this hideous striped jumpsuit best?! —A good question to ask God. [Us Weekly]
  • Mark Ruffalo talked about his murdered brother, Scott, in a really sweet/sad way. [Us Weekly]
  • Kanye West walked right into a pole on the street. Loltown. [Us Weekly]
  • Terrence Howard has finalized his divorce after two years of negotiation. [Us Weekly]
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin