The All My Children Finale Was Crap.


Today we bid adieu to the town of Pine Valley, and as someone who grew up with and continued to watch the series in throughout adulthood, I must admit that I’m a little sad. At this time of this printing, the only two cast members to sign on to the tentatively planned online iteration of the soap are Cameron Mathison and Lindsay Hartley. So what about Erica Kane? Well, you can be the judge as to what may or may not happen in the future by watching the last four minutes of the show above. Spoilers ahead.

For those out of the loop, in the past month or so we saw the return of a number of Pine Valley residents whom we thought were dead: Zach, Dixie, and as of this week, Stuart Chandler. How did they come back to life? Well, it turns out that evil Dr. David Hayward has been keeping them alive in various labs around the country. Stuart Chandler came back to life and cured Marion of her insanity, Zach and Kendall got back together, Tad and Dixie reunited (for the millionth time) and became engaged to wed this week. Full circle and all that.

In today’s finale, however, Adam Chandler invited the entire town to his mansion for a party in which he asked Brooke to marry him after all these years. Meanwhile, Erica Kane and Jackson Montgomery had a discussion of their hopes and dreams as a couple now that Erica is headed to LA, where she’ll to film a movie based on her memoir with a producer played by John O’Hurley. Jackson gets her to admit that she doesn’t actually want to marry him and he walks out on her (for good?) which you would think would be the major cliffhanger except for that brooding rascal J.R. Chandler!

Having been convinced that his ex-wife Babe was still alive in one of David’s labs, he went a little crazy when he discovered that she actually dead all along. Seeking revenge, he lodged himself between the walls at his father’s party with a gun in his hand. At the very end of the series, his gun goes off and we have no idea who was actually shot. So in the end, the show basically did the exact opposite of Dallas, in which we’re left asking “Who did J.R. shoot?” instead of “Who shot J.R.?”

Who do you think J.R. shot? Perhaps more importantly, do you think that character will pop up on the online edition of the show? (Assuming it even happens.) I get that the series wanted to leave things open-ended, and really, had to because they’re not sure which cast members will be returning. But I would much rather see the bullet actually hit somebody and be shocked by the ending than this fairly unremarkable finish to a remarkable show.

That said, I cried at every single episode this week (besides today’s) as they tied up each of the most prominent Pine Valley families’ storylines. I only wish they hadn’t been canceled at all, because there’s no way a television series about food will fill the emotional void AMC left behind.

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