

ESPN’s documentary The Last Dance is a 10-hour epic dedicated to the might and power of the Chicago Bulls when they were good. But more than that, it’s the story of Michael Jordan, the most important person to ever touch a basketball, according to Michael Jordan. The doc, which aired its eighth installment on Sunday night, has been manna from heaven for sports fans who have nothing to watch, but for those less interested in the trappings of being a champion, the documentary has also provided an unprecedented look at the levels of pettiness basketball players can achieve when they really dedicate themselves. With all the drama going on behind closed doors and playing out in the media, the Bulls of the 1990s were the perfect model for a figure like Andy Cohen to start a Housewives franchise.
Just like any good Housewives series, The Last Dance features its very own queen bee, which is, of course, Michael Jordan. In this particular doc, the story of the Bulls is told almost entirely through Jordan’s perspective, with other people’s thoughts and lives sprinkled about for flavor. The trademark of this domineering figure is to control the narrative and minimize any opposing viewpoints—just ask Bethanny Frankel or Lisa Vanderpump. They also need to exert perpetual control by any means necessary, which Jordan does without breaking a sweat. Throughout the doc, former teammates talk about how Jordan was a bully during practices and borderline verbally abusive. When Scott Burrell wasn’t working hard enough in Jordan’s opinion, he harassed him until he got better, claiming the whole time that Burrell was lazy and “didn’t want it” or calling him “hoe” and “bitch” during free throw practice. Pippen puts a neat bow on the bullying segment by saying, “We needed that,” further solidifying Jordan’s stronghold over teammates he gaslit.