The Person Who Raised Elon Musk Is Probably the Last Person Who Should Be Giving Parenting Advice

I don’t know about you, but when I seek advice, I exclusively accept it from those who are the best at their craft — for instance, I might ask Ted Kaczynski how to safely mail packages without hurting anyone, or ask the Brooklyn Nets’ Ben Simmons how to nail three-pointers, or ask Harvey Weinstein how to cultivate a safe working environment for women. That’s why I’m glad Maye Musk, the woman who raised the famously well-adjusted Elon Musk, stopped by Fox News over the weekend to give parenting advice.

On FOX & Friends, one host asked Maye for her thoughts about the birth rate, “which your son talks a lot about, it declining and the problems with humanity with that.” Earlier this month, Maye responded to a Twitter user who understandably argued that it’s become too expensive to have kids. Maye shared her own story, tweeting: “When Elon was born, we were in a small two bedroom apartment overlooking a garage. When Kimbal was born, we moved to a two bedroom apartment with a view. When Tosca was born, we moved to a two bedroom house. All in the same area.”

Maye reiterated her personal experience on FOX & Friends, adding that as you have more children, “You move on, you start doing better and better. You don’t have to go to the movies, you don’t have to go out to dinner. … The most wonderful gifts you could ever have is the children.”

Elon’s mom, Maye Musk, talks about how people should have kids even though they can’t afford it.

“You don’t have to go to the movies, you don’t have to go out to dinner.”

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— Art Candee 🍿🥤 (@artcandee.bsky.social) December 15, 2024 at 11:10 AM

Of course, the idea that someone who’s struggling financially should simply have more and more kids until one day, magically, they’re well-to-do, is the feel-good fan fiction of the ultra-rich. Whether or not to have children is obviously a personal decision, but it goes without saying that our country’s total and complete lack of a social safety net, childcare resources, and affordable housing has dissuaded people. And then, of course, there’s the small matter of an inevitable climate apocalypse in the coming years, all while Elon helped make a man who’s called climate change a “hoax” our next president. Ironically, Maye is probably the best example of why not to have children. God forbid you birth America’s next great robber baron-slash-alleged sex pest.

In any case, Maye’s guidance that the proletarian masses should simply forego taking their children to movies or out to dinner is pretty comical. As it turns out, the solution to having kids on a budget is simply depriving them of childhood staples — not taxing billionaire wealth-hoarders like her son, paying living wages, or addressing the untenable student debt crisis. Just don’t take your kids to see Mufasa in theaters this Christmas — problem solved!

A generous read of Maye’s obsession with telling poor people to have kids, whether they want to or not, is that she’s out of touch. But the more sinister reality is probably that she wants to ensure there’s always a bottomless, readily exploitable labor force to staff her billionaire son’s factories, famous for their egregious safety violations and Elon’s notorious and illegal crackdown on unions.

If FOX & Friends is doing interviews with bad parents, they should consider hosting Elon next — I’d love to hear all about the children who don’t talk to him because of his bigotry, or the child he refused to allow to see their sick grandmother, or the trans daughter he describes as “dead” to him.