The Twelve Most Depressing Things About the Election, and How You Can Make Yourself Feel Better
LatestThere’s something (or, really, a lot of somethings) about this election cycle that’s just incredibly depressing. Right? Things aren’t even going too terribly bad at this point, and still, I’m so depressed! Sooooooo depressed. This shit is a bummer! But instead of writing yet another apoplectic, bleeding-heart, depressing blog post about politics and justice and depression and blah blah blah, I decided to get proactive and actually DO something about it for once.
I decided to look at funny gifs all day. In fact, I found one perfect funny gif for every single thing I’m depressed about in the 2012 election! And it really changed my outlook on life. Here, enjoy:
1. Remember 2008? How young we were? The magic of it? Yeah, that’s dead now.
But no big! Here’s a puppy!
2. Sure, Obama has disappointed us in certain ways. Why is Guantanamo still bopping along? Why is the globe still warming like GANGBUSTERS? What’s with the drones, bro? And, for that matter, why did you do so shitty in the first debate? Was there a carbon monoxide leak in your lapel pin? We’re counting on you, man!!!
Eh, bygones. This penguin is doing a dance!
3. Equal rights for all human beings should not be up for debate. Women’s access to healthcare—for all parts of our bodies—should not be up for debate. But for some reason, we spend all of our time debating those things. Why? This is bullshit! THE WORLD IS LITERALLY BOILING TO DEATH. GET BETTER PRIORITIES.
LIKE THIS OTTER, FOR INSTANCE.
4. Republican candidates and lawmakers are silencing women’s voices, dismissing women’s experiences, and legislating women’s bodily autonomy at an alarming rate. Just a couple days ago GOP senate candidate Richard Mourdock said he thinks that rape is “something God intended.” Well guess what, dude? I DON’T BELIEVE IN GOD. So your feelings about the intentions of your imaginary god aren’t really relevant to the workings of my government or my uterus. Thx, though. (Also, if you think that everything is just part of “god’s plan,” has it been pointed out to you that “everything” also includes abortions and gay guys? Or…does “god’s plan” only apply to shit being forcibly shoved into women’s body-holes? Man, fuck you.)