The Vanity Fair Oscars Afterparty Looks… Slapped

After the show, there’s the after party! On Sunday, the Hollywood Hills were alive with the sound of clickity-clacking as the stars marched over from the 2022 Oscars to the most coveted after party ticket in town: Vanity Fair’s annual Oscars party hosted by Radhika Jones.

While the Oscars red carpet was all about elegance and sternums, the Vanity Fair red carpet was more of a who’s who of cool girls. And they did indeed look very cool!!!

The VH party was also a shot at redemption from the Oscars red carpet, which several of our rich n’ famous friends very much needed. I’m disappointed to inform you that not too many celebs got this one wrong, so let’s join in celebrating these genetically and surgically perfected specimens.

THIS is the sleek, bold elegance I was looking for from her earlier in the night! It’s so simple that it makes a statement that’s basically like, “I am so dazzling that I wouldn’t dare distract you with a glam dress!”

She looks like a goddess of the sea, but sunglasses at night are a noooooo.

LOOK AT THIS CAPE. She is the main event, her famous wife guy is there to serve her, and I would encourage everyone to join in on bowing down.

Not another fucking bow!!! The hair is giving rolled out of bed and very much wanting to go home.

GORG AS A BUTTON. This look wins for me, not taking any other votes. It’s like a shredded tuxedo and it cannot be beat.

Jessica swapped out her cotton candy sugarplum fairy look for the shimmering Little Mermaid all grown up.

Sophie looks regal, but Joe? Perhaps being devoured by a ghost? Should we check on him?

A short dress at the Oscars is a statement in itself. We are truly blessed to bear witness to this statement, which is saying so many glorious things!!! Serena is a sight to behold and absolutely making sure you are trapped in her orbit.

Timmy is really out here saying, “welcome to the Gen Z matrix.”

Yawn.

Shocking: Goth and butt stuff. Can we get a new shtick?

Russell looks fine, but LOOK AT CIARA. Reminds me of Kim K’s sleek wet look, but like a wet burgundy ruby.

Oh sweetie, naurrrrrrrr.

It’s sheer, sparkly, and sleek. It slays.

Found the scissors backstage and chopped her Oscars trash bag gown. Seems like a friend I’d shop at Hot Topic with. Do you, boo.