This Cursed Murder Doll Is Having About As Much Fun in Quarantine As I Am

The cynical among us might dismiss this short video as a silly little marketing clip, which it is. Deadline says New Line Cinema employees shot it on an iPhone late last month and it was such a big hit internally they decided to post it today. Still, I find it striking that Annabelle—doll star of The Conjuring and several related spin-offs—has had a period of isolation much like my own. Like Annabelle, I too have sat in several chairs in my apartment for many hours, as variety is the spice of life.

I have watched many of my own Instagram stories in a darkened room, passed out with my head on my laptop keyboard, and played board games with the ghosts in my living room. And, like Annabelle, with no humans around to psychologically torture, I have at points resorted to pressing my face against the goldfish bowl that is my apartment window to watch absolutely nothing happen on the street.

Unfortunately for Annabelle, and for those of us who aren’t cursed dolls but simply cursed, it seems we’ll be stuck doing this for a very long time. If Annabelle is looking for an outlet through which she can murder, might I suggest she sign up for a role in government?