Hey, would you like me to tell you about the most offensive dessert in the entire history of human sugar consumption? Meet this awful six-layer mashup of icing, cake and three different types of pies, ridiculously dubbed the “Cherpumple.”
Fuck this whatever the hell this thing is. Says Today:
When it’s time to bring out the big guns for Christmas dessert, there’s only one recipe you need: the mighty Cherpumple. Technically six (yes, six!) desserts in one, the Cherpumple combines cherry, pumpkin and apple pies with three different flavors of cake, all stacked high under a blanket of cream cheese frosting.
Um, no it’s not “six desserts in one” because icing on its own is not a dessert unless you’re licking the mixing attachments or you’re going through a breakup and eating it directly from the Pillsbury container.