This Raccoon Is the Real Fearless Girl We Need


Ladies, are you tired of being gaslighted at work? Sick of earning less money and recognition for your hard work than your male colleagues? Ever get interrupted so many times in a meeting, you want to start screaming just to get the office’s attention? Or bite into a coworker’s arm just to give them a mild case of rabies?

TELL ME ABOUT IT. Are you, perhaps, a four-legged friend and lover of pilfering through your neighbor’s trash? Ugh, say no more.

This raccoon GETS IT!!! She’s sorry, but she’s had it up to HERE with sexist bullshit and patriarchal structures at work, and she’s literally NOT GONNA STOP ‘til she gets TO THE TOP of the corporate ladder!

By corporate ladder, I mean this 23-story building she scaled on Wednesday. Homegirl started on Monday and went two days without food or water. Committed.

Move over, Fearless Girl! This raccoon’s not scared—not of heights, not of the systems of heteronormativity and capitalism that keep us all in chains! She lived a normal, quiet life just like you—filing papers, doing busywork, eating garbage, taking care of the kids—and then one day decided, enough.

She had to break up! She had to do something! She had to climb THAT WALL.

Not everyone is a fan of this year’s hottest feminist icon. Jezebel managing editor Madeleine Davies commented, “As you all know, I hate raccoons.” However, even critics of the Procyon lotor can appreciate this particular raccooon’s weekday feat: “But I am very relieved,” continued Davies.

Really makes you think. The next time your manager denies your request for a raise, think of this raccoon: break through a window and stage a small but mighty media frenzy to get your point across.

*Brackets mine.

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