Trump Says Ron DeSantis Needs an ‘Emergency Personality Transplant’

The former president essentially called DeSantis a pudding finger-licking weirdo, and...he's not entirely wrong?

Trump Says Ron DeSantis Needs an ‘Emergency Personality Transplant’
Photo:Getty Images

Former President Donald Trump has made it clear where he stands on Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R), his likely rival for the Republican presidential nomination come 2024: He’s not a fan! But amid DeSantis’ curious little trip to Japan this week—ostensibly to bolster the famed Florida-Japan alliance or something—Trump really went for the jugular, taking to Truth Social to accuse DeSantis of having “no personality or people skills.”

“Florida has the Sun & the Ocean, and was GREAT long before I put Ron there,” Trump wrote. “The semi-elite ‘No Growthers’ are considering sending Ron to the great Walter Reed Medical Center for an emergency personality transplant. His poll numbers are crashing!”

While I’m clearly not a Trump supporter by any stretch of the imagination, I’ll admit I laughed out loud upon reading that. Emergency personality transplant at the great Walter Reed Medical Center—just an unbelievable burn from a man who has already reportedly called DeSantis “tiny D” behind closed doors.

The jab is especially comical given the banner last few weeks DeSantis has had online, where rumors about his odd mannerisms—including that he reportedly eats pudding by scooping and licking it off three fingers—have been all over Twitter. This, mind you, is on top of his penchant for wearing high-heeled shoes to compensate for his lacking height, all while hypocritically trying to ban drag shows in his state.

Beyond pudding and footwear, DeSantis is also just…weird. At 44, he’s in a bitter battle of personalities with Mickey Mouse, and he’s decisively uncharismatic. He probably could benefit from “an emergency personality transplant”—of course, so could Trump. But if we’re talking about adopting a personality that can win the Republican presidential primary, Trump’s is an uncannily good fit.

In any case, circling back to Trump’s observations of DeSantis’ social skills, here is a clip of the Florida governor making some of the most puzzling, deranged facial expressions and throwing his head around like a bobble-head figurine while giving non-answers at a press conference in Japan on Monday:

And here he is, locked in an utterly head-scratching handshake with former NBA player turned right-wing provocateur Enes Kanter:

There isn’t a single photo of him looking normal while standing upright (the caption attached to the following photo is also worth a read!):

As for Trump’s claim about DeSantis’ people skills, he might be on to something, too. New York magazine offers a pretty extensive list of his numerous, basic etiquette infractions, and the pudding gaffe is one bullet of many. Apparently, DeSantis also made little effort to contact or develop a rapport with the Florida Congressional delegation before seeking endorsements (many of which recently went to Trump), despite clearly knowing for some time that he’d run. That’s just bad planning!

Despite early DeSantis hype, Trump clearly remains the Republican front-runner—not just in the polls but in the Republican primary’s meaty dick-swinging competition to see who can out-insult Trump. Thus far, Trump has, again, made possible belittling allusions to DeSantis’ height and/or dick size (“tiny D”), pushed the not-unsubstantiated rumor that DeSantis himself is a “groomer,” claimed DeSantis came to him crying “with tears coming down from his eyes” for Trump’s endorsement in 2018, and has now essentially called DeSantis a socially inept loser. DeSantis, in turn, has politely declined every opportunity to hit back save for a barbed reference to Trump’s Stormy Daniels troubles. To that I say, it’s 2023, Ron—when has politeness ever won someone the Republican presidential nomination?? It’s time to get an “emergency personality transplant” that comes with the ability to formulate a good insult or two, or just save us all the trouble and drop out already.

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