Trump’s Guilty But MAGA World’s Reactions Would Have You Thinking He Died

On Thursday, Trump became the first ex-president in U.S. history to be convicted of a crime. Consequently, his family members and cronies now all get to bask in their insatiable victim complex.

Trump’s Guilty But MAGA World’s Reactions Would Have You Thinking He Died

I can’t think of any day throughout the past decade that has highlighted our great national political divide as clearly as yesterday. Thursday was simultaneously your MSNBC-addicted parents’ Super Bowl and the rapture for your MAGA, Fox News-brained uncles. That’s right: On May 30, former President Donald Trump was found guilty on all 34 felony counts he faced related to his alleged affair and subsequent illegal hush-money payment to Stormy Daniels during his 2016 campaign. This makes Trump the first ex-president in U.S. history to be convicted of a crime. And while I, personally, have my doubts that this development will lead to anything particularly game-changing, it is incredibly funny. And through these very bleak times, I believe in taking wins big and small wherever we can find them. I mean, Trump really went 0 for 34??? (I’m stuck on that as a basketball fan, because do you know how hard it is to miss 34 times???)

All that said, the jury’s decisive verdict is even funnier for the meltdown it’s caused among the former president’s family members, political allies, and right-wing media. They’re all performing outrage, but if anything, I have a gut feeling that this is exactly what they’ve been waiting for because it feeds their insane, insatiable victim complex.

Let’s start with members of Trump’s family, namely his daughter Ivanka, whose Instagram story following the verdict made it seem like her father was diagnosed with cancer—not that his addiction to corrupt activities and cheating on his wife finally caught up with him. Ivanka shared an old photo of herself as a toddler sitting on her father’s lap with the caption, “I love you dad.” I can only assume we’re supposed to see this ostensibly humanizing photo of Trump as a father and feel sorry for him, but my reaction is, simply, LOL.

Ivanka’s brother, Don Jr., went a slightly different route. He tweeted out “Such bullshit” shortly after the verdict and went on to accuse Democrats of a “years long attempt to turn America into a third-world shithole,” adding, “November 5 is our last chance to save it.” He hasn’t really stopped tweeting since, but if you’re not following him, don’t worry, you’re not missing much!

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) tweeted an upside-down American flag, which has become a symbol among far-right, pro-Trump insurrectionists. Viral white supremacist shitposter Milo Yiannopoulos tweeted out a photo of Trump alongside Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, and the Dalai Lama, which has become a popular, admittedly hilarious comparison on MAGA Twitter over the last 24 hours. And Libs of TikTok, or Chaya Raichik, has been posting through it, too, declaring Trump “guilty of patriotism,” and rolling out the campaign slogan of the century: “My name is Chaya Raichik… and I WILL be voting for a convicted felon this November.” That’s the party of law and order, baby!

Meanwhile, the Fox News and right-wing media reactions have been what you’d expect, if not crazier. Jeanine Pirro called the verdict “warfare,” which can really only be taken as an incitement of violence given Trump supporters’, err, history. Newsmax declared that the jurors should be publicly harassed in the streets. And right-wing media darling and current Arizona U.S. Senate candidate Kari Lake ironically called the verdict “the most egregious example of election interference … in the 246-year history of our Republic,” which is honestly just a funny thing to say in a country where Jan. 6, 2021, literally happened.

Of course, across the aisle, just as predictable as the MAGA meltdown was the resistance lib VE-Day parade, led by Hillary Clinton and her celebratory “TURNS OUT SHE WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING” mug, which probably makes everything taste like 2016. Katy Perry tweeted “LFG.” Barbra Streisand was having a great time, too. “TEARS OF JOY,” Kathy Griffin tweeted. Yay!

Personally, these were my favorite reaction posts, all of which I hope to see printed in history textbooks someday:

All of that said, I repeat: I do not believe that this will lead to anything particularly game-changing in the context of the 2024 election, other than, say, Trump facing house arrest or probation and being unable to travel for campaign rallies, which he’d surely be a huge fucking baby about. It seems doubtful that Trump will serve time, though that would quite possibly be the funniest thing that’s ever happened.

Also, as undeniably comical as all of this is, the rational side of my brain that still very much remembers the events of January 6, 2021, feels some level of apprehension about how the former president’s most devoted supporters will react to the verdict and, later this summer, the sentencing. Much to think about. But for right now, feel free to mute your Fox News uncles on social media and let your MSNBC parents dance in the streets—they’ve earned it.

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