What Are Those????


Pants are not for everyone. Shoes, also same. Shirts—everyone loves those, right? Seems like those three items required for public life got a little confused here on the eternally ageless body of Jennifer Lopez.

There she is, strolling down the streets of New York City on the last day of July, wearing a curious combination of the aforementioned shirt, pants, shoes combo, but in a way that fashion magazines would call “unexpected!!” and I call “confusing and slightly bad.”

The shirt—fine. The pants—not visible, but I would like to assume Ms. Lopez is wearing at least a tap pant under that blousy top. The shoes are… shoes, but they are also pants? A denim boot—perfect for this midsummer weather in the Big Apple!!—but with a waistband and a belt that ostensibly holds the pant-boots up on the thigh is a real choice.

Ariana Grande is doing a version of this look, too—something Jezebel features editor Stassa Edwards clocked as very “South Florida”—an oversized sweatshirt as dress, a ponytail swinging like the lustrous tail of a well-groomed horse, and big, slouchy, thigh-high boots that almost eliminate the need for pants entirely. It’s all watered-down Kim Kardashian West shit—athleisure for those who don’t ever do sports—and while it looks comfortable, I’m not sold.

Famouses do not need to consider practicality… Celebrities don’t walk, they are driven by men in suits in big SUVs with tinted windows who take them from point A to point B, even if the distance between those points is 2 blocks. The logistics of this outfit do not perturb me but aesthetically, I feel pain.

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