Who Directed These Impressive Wind Gusts at Cannes?

Somehow at Cannes—a gathering of already-beautiful and influential people working in the film industry—nature decided to give the women wearing beautiful gowns an additional leg up by creating preternaturally perfect, absurd wind gusts, dramatically arching lengths of tulle and chiffon just as the paparazzi snapped their eager cameras. How the hell does this happen, and why doesn’t it ever happen to normal people, rather than gusting exactly so our hair whips into our mouths and eyes during a selfie or whatever else we might be doing on the gram? Is nature playing us?

Anyway, that’s Noel Capri Berry, who is not only a fashion model but is also wearing a dress with a cape that the stupid wind wanted to caress.

Perhaps, then, you might want to indulge in actor Frederique Bel striking a damn pose on the damn red carpet steps while the damn wind nuzzles her damn gown.

French model Didi Stone Olomide in a voluminous damn gown made more voluminous by the freakin wind. Did I mention all these people were attending a screening of a film called Tout S’est Bien Passe (Everything Went Fine)? Well, it did.

Nidhi Sunil, a—yes—model, getting an assist she clearly did not need by the—yes—wind.

I am sweating in a pair of bike shorts and a sports bra right now, just letting you know.