Monica Hesse’s story in today’s Washington Post reminds me why I won’t be seeing Bride Wars. The Hollywood Wedding Movie is a painful, embarrassing, horrifying, insulting and predictable spectacle.
These movies are never about love, or how a man and a woman have decided to spend the rest of their lives together, and long to celebrate this decision with their closest friends and family. These flicks are always about how the female brain goes haywire when she gets a “big day” to be the center of attention. There are scenes involving ridiculous amounts of money spent on disposable things: Dresses worn once, flowers carried for 20 minutes. And does the bride in the films enjoy these lavish luxuries? Of course not! She’s too busy fretting and being petty. The brides are always painted as stressed out headcases. Explains Hesse:
“In the movies, planning the wedding becomes the ultimate test in the couple’s relationship, and the catalyst that prompts the bride to ‘find herself.’ She gets plastered (Bride Wars), she spins insane lies (Sweet Home Alabama), she throws punches (My Best Friend’s Wedding). If the groom can embrace the bride’s edgy behavior (My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Runaway Bride), that means that he can embrace her. But if the groom doesn’t embrace her newfound spunk (The Wedding Singer, Wedding Crashers), then she’ll end up with a different, more awesome guy who does.”
Even though I find the concept condescending, Hollywood keeps making these films, and audiences keep watching them. And this is despite the fact that you know what’s going to happen, because the Wedding Movie has a formula. Hesse explains:
“We’ve been watching it for years. Here Comes the Crazy Bride. Again and again and again… It’s puffy, it’s poufy, it’s crinoline and buttercream. But lick off enough layers of icing, and there lurks the monster. Our heroine must wrestle it to the ground, narrowly escaping disaster, to learn if she’s captured the right prince.”
The question is, why does this formula have to involve making women look shallow and hare-brained?
Hollywood Wedded To The Formula [Washington Post]